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Thursday, 26 May 2016

The 57 worst friends,Your child will bring home for a play date

Your child is practically perfect.

  1. Your child is practically perfect.
  2. Kind. Sensitive. Intelligent. A joy to be around.
  • However, once he or she reaches primary school age, suddenly the gates are thrown open and that cascade of awfulness known as other people's children enters your life.
  • Other people's children are not a joy to be around.
  • Sure, in their own parents' eyes they might be the best thing since sliced bread. They may even have many admirable qualities.
  • But when they're round at your house on a play date, hopped up on Nesquik, silently judging your home furnishings and making dismissive remarks about your supermarket own-brand fish fingers, it's hard to see the appeal.
Through the primary school years you will have to feign cheeriness as you tolerate a number of different children entering your home and messing with your stuff. Here are 57 of the worst.

  • 1. The one with bladder control issues
  • 2. The one with nits
  • 3. The one who just learnt a new swear word
  • 4. The one who's allergic to everything
  • 5. The one with the pretentious name you can't say aloud without giggling
  • 6. The one with the annoying laugh
  • 7. The one who keeps asking really personal questions
  • 8. The one who only likes playing fighting and war
  • 9. The one who won't stop crying
  • 10. The kleptomaniac
  • 11. The one with a cold who didn't bring a hanky
  • 12. The one whose parents don't believe in boundaries or discipline
  • 13. The precocious one
  • 14. The one who doesn't eat meat
  • 15. The one who doesn't eat vegetables
  • 16. The shouter
  • 17. The one who might be a goth
  • 18. The one who's got a weird thing about horses
  • 19. The one who never speaks
  • 20. The possibly-racist one
  • 21. The one who thinks she's funny and keeps telling the same joke over and over again and you have to keep on pretending you find it funny, when it's not funny, and all you want to do is point out it doesn't even make sense as a joke, but you can't because she's a small child and she wouldn't even understand the criticism
  • 22. The bully
  • 23. The one who points out how much nicer his house is than yours
  • 24. The opinionated one
  • 25. The one who's mean to pets
  • 26. The one who's scared of everything
  • 27. The singing one
  • 28. The one who's weirdly good at martial arts. He's only seven, how the hell has he learnt that? Are his parents vigilantes or something?
  • 29. The nihilist (AAAhaaa me? hahaha)
  • 30. The Star Wars obsessive (hehehe you must feel the force)
  • 31. The princess
  • 32. The one who can't find her inhaler
  • 33. The one who keeps talking about death
  • 34. The pedant
  • 35. The one who really wants you to meet her guinea pig, and describes it at enormous length
  • 36. The trendy one
  • 37. The one who never watches TV
  • 38. The one who never stops watching TV
  • 39. The one who invades your personal space
  • 40. The smelly one (hahaha including me)
  • 41. The rude one
  • 42. The one who looks a bit like that other one so you can never remember which is which
  • 43. The one who's just a bit annoying for no discernible reason
  • 44. The gifted one who everyone thinks is really nice but who you know is definitely evil and it's just that no one else can see it
  • 45. The greedy one
  • 46. The shrill one
  • 47. The pious one
  • 48. The one with the creepy eyes
  • 49. That one with the stupid hat
  • 50. The compulsive liar
  • 51. The one who's still really into Frozen
  • 52. The screamer
  • 53. The talented all-rounder
  • 54. The one who looks like that politician you hate
  • 55. The insufferable bore
  • 56. The one who talks to you as if you're his best mate even though you're 30 years older than he is and frankly it makes you uncomfortable
  • 57. The farter (hihihi but this real)
Note:  mmm this not friends of our child but thats me was as friend haha or may be still? @^$#^&! Or May be You Are ((((((((Hahaha)))))))) which one number 40 haha realy are you ?  ((((((((Hahaha))))))))